There I said It.

The other day, I posted a picture up on my Instagram with a rather emotional caption. It was pretty harsh considering the fact that I have my co-workers and my kids following me on there.

The post was about my feelings towards my job.

fuel-love-hate-temporary-tattoo

I don’t know about you but I never have passion for my job.

To put it simple, I HATE MY JOB. It is sad, as it is the only job I am qualified to do right now.

But who cares about qualifications, right?

Especially this year, I am so fucking stressed out.

stress

I have reached to the point where I hardly sleep at night. Even if I sleep, I wake up every hour just to check on my phone to see if there are any texts from my boss or co-workers. I am constantly on call. I love my sleep and this kind of obnoxious.

I risk my health for the job with a little less than decent pay. Honestly, my salary has yet to reach RM5k monthly. It will though next year because we have a fixed annual increment. But I don’t know if it’s worth it. I just know that I don’t deserve this shit.

I found myself screaming and crying (twice) in my room at work. I even kicked the chair and slammed the table countless times because I can’t simply let my anger out on people, right? And I don’t know where to channel my frustration. I’ve been holding it in for too long and it has taken its toll on me. If I could drink alcohol, I would.

Just to forget my being for awhile.

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1 thought on “There I said It.”

  1. Hi there. I don’t think I have ever hated a job like that but have definitely felt much less than fulfilled by it. Dealing with daily questions about how to change things can be exhausting. It motivated me to start a blog and YouTube channel about finding your passion and maybe it could useful for you as well. Come and check it out. In the meantime good luck with your journey!

    Like

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